Thoughts Tonight

So it's been a long time since my last blog - I've been waiting for something amazing to say to you all.. something inspiring. But I think tonight I'll settle for "enough." I have discovered a few things in the last month... maybe they'll be interesting for you too.

1 - Being grateful is actually quite satisfying. If you're having a down day or wondering why a particular pesty bit of buisness has showed up - no need to ignore it altogether (rather impossible to do really) .. but maybe, just put it aside for 5 mintues and feel grateful for what you do have. For who is in your life. For your favorite thing. I have done this recently and miraculously noticed that not only did I not feel so devistated, but I felt like I wanted to give back. To share. To open. You can pick up your pesky business in few minutes if you want!

2 - Don't try. Do. Yoda was so right! If you are grateful, say so because you mean it, not because you should. If you want to buy yourself some flowers, do it! Not because a magazine told you to be good to yourself and to buy yourself flowers to do so. If you want to go running because you are tired of sitting in your chair, your running shoes are right there, it's a nice day, and you're pretty sure you'll feel happy for the rest of the day... go running! or jumping! or walking.. you get the point. Don't try so hard - just really do it, feel it, believe it.

3 - Believe in people. We think that not trusting people will protect us. Maybe it will in some ways. Maybe we get to be right because they will most definitely fail us someday. But what if we stop trying to find the one little thing that breaks our trust or disappoints us, but instead celebrate the millions of things they do that show their trust. I don't know if I'm so enlightened to say I can do this all the time. But I have been remarkably impressed and amazed with people of late. Why not believe them. Why not trust them. They won't be perfect, but they can be beautiful pieces of our lives and hearts.

4 - Be open and receptive to receive what you have asked for. If you ask for someone to be more this or less that... notice when they show you. You may expect trumpets and fireworks when they show up. But you will miss it. They might show up and you won't even notice. Appreciate when they do extend that hand to you. Look for how they respond to your request. And if it isn't exactly what you thought it "should" be - remember it's their step towards you. Appreciate it.

5 - Remember that we are all doing our best. We all have hurt. We all have inspiring moments. We all feel alone sometimes. We all have dreams. We are all in this together. Give each other the benefit of the doubt, even when it seems the other person is "crazy." You never know exactly why someone is the way they are, but you can probably relate if you did. Be kind.

6 - And in the words of the great Naomi Judd "Slow Down, Simplify, and Be Kind."

The Story of the "Juicy Banana"

There was an experiment on a band of monkeys in South America... don't ask me where, I can't remember. For the experiment, wooden boxes were placed in the jungle with a single banana in it. They had bars for walls, as in a jail cell, with the slits being as far apart as a person could slip their hand through with fingers extended.

The boxes were placed where the local monkeys could easily get to it. As the day progressed, monkeys would come across the boxes, slip their hand easily through the slits, and grab the banana. And there they would remain, caught with their hand in the box, snared. The amazing thing was, if they were to just let go of the banana they would be free. But the banana was just too juicy and too delicious to let go of. They HAD to have THAT banana... it was their banana. So there they were, trapped by their juicy banana. Some of them died holding on to that one banana. Some of them grew old, wasting most of their life holding on to the banana, only to give it up in the end for their few final days of life. But some.. they were wise enough to realize, that there was more tasty and beautiful things in the world to taste and explore than just this one banana. They let go of it and were free.

What is your juicy banana? What do you hold on to thinking it is the truth but instead is only one perspective, one person, one way, one banana that is trapping you and holding you back? What could you release to give yourself freedom?

Pick one thing, feeling, perspective, fear, belief that is holding you back... just release it for a bit and see what freedom you can experience. If you want to go back to that "banana" the box is always there for you.... be brave, trust, and let go....

Only a small question... What is life about?

So, I've been thinking lately about motivation. What motivates us? What motivates you? For me, motivation has come from trying to make things better; trying to help people see what they do not see. The trying part however, is the problem spot for me now. How hard should one TRY? Where does the acceptance come in then? One of the biggest things in what I want to do for myself and bring to other people, is to accept "what is"...within themselves, in others, in the world. This doesn't mean we don't try to make things better... but before we can change anything, improve anything - we need to accept what is. Only from that point can we ever hope to make any changes. So, where is the balance then. Why TRY to change anything?

After thought, I realized that maybe our purpose is simpler than that. It doesn't matter what we do in particularly. It only matters HOW we do it. Whether we are talking with other people, leading them on hikes, singing for them, editing their papers, designing websites, advising them on our bit of expertise in this world - it matters more HOW we do these things and not so much in the particulars. Maybe, instead of trying to change everything and everyone we move into a smaller, yet grander outlook of motivation.

Maybe the point is to just make today better.

Whatever you do today, make it better for yourself and for the people in front of you. What would happen if we all did that today? You don't have to be anything more than you already are. You are in the perfect position to accomplish this goal. Make today just a bit better... Enjoy!

"Every second of the search is an encounter with God," the boy told his heart. "When I have been truly searching for my treasure, every day has been luminous, because I've known that every hour was a part of the dream that I would find it. When I have been truly searching for my treasure, I've discovered things along the way that I never would have seen had I not had the courage to try things that seemed impossible for a shepherd to achieve."

Paulo Coelho - "The Alchemist"

Education without External Incentives

Studies show that giving rewards (stars, grades, ice cream, even praise) to encourage learning actually decreases internal motivation to learn, especially when the lesson is inherently interesting, creative, or involves problem solving. Motivating students (for any kind of education) by teaching experientially while setting up the lesson to spark personal interest will result in greater participation, deeper understanding, and greater ability to remember and integrate knowledge in future situations.

For more literature on experiential education:

Kohn, A. (1993). Punished by Rewards: The trouble with gold stars, incentive plans, A’s, praise, and other bribes. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

Dewey, J. (1998). Experience and education: the 60th anniversary edition. West Lafayette, Indiana: Kappa Delta Pi.